Thursday, July 22, 2010


When a child is seen behaving badly and is going off the course beyond the norm, the question/response that is generally aired is
"The child has been brought up very badly. The parents are to blame. What were they doing?"

However, when a child is shaping up nicely with no major problems or issues, the response almost always is 
"Such a nice, pleasant and good natured child". All compliments are for the child. And the poor parents who brought him/her to be what he/she is, is nowhere in the picture. In these instances,
How is it that it is very rare that one ever hears of 
"That kid is great. The parents have done a great job raising him/her" ?



oh! you are way off the mark. Ask my parents.. they get praised all the time :P

Seriously speaking, I think it probably changes with age of the child, lets say a child does well in his 10th and 12th exams , junta generally praise the parents as well dont they?

Satish N said...

Our society is always quick to find faults and also to find a scapegoat for those faults. It is human tendency that we generally don't highlight positives, we are genetically designed to pin point negatives and only negatives, hence there wont be much of instances where ppl usually praise someone for someone's well being.

Swaram said...

Because it's never easy for people to compliment us. They always think they are lacking somewhere when they compliment others I think. But when they find faults, they feel they are better !?!

Unknown said...

Parents are similar to a role of Project Manager.
Simple - When its credit, it goes to Team
When its blame, Manager to take it up!

Parents shudnt expect credit.

In tami they say 'Than maganai, Saandron yena ke'tta Thaai'

she got joy/fulfillment that way!
Thats how it works!

Lavanya Sriram said...

LR, your parents get praised? I will have to check with them :)

and regarding doing well in 10th and 12th exams, i think the usual dialogue is "Andha kuzhandhai yevalo samathaa padichu mark vaangirukku paathiyaa?"

Sat, these were my thoughts as well when I thought of this, but is this human tendency or our society's tendency?

Swaram, "think they are lacking somewhere when they compliment others" - i think this is very true

Suresh, welcome to this space!
What an analogy, but you are talking abt a dream Project Manager! Do such PMs exist these days?

Aarti Oliver said...

Hi there, I kinda stumbled upon your blog and found your post quite interesting... I agree with you when you say , " How is it that it is very rare that one ever hears of
"That kid is great. The parents have done a great job raising him/her" ?".

I guess in our Asian society we take parenting for granted and expect parents and family to do a great job.